“Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?”

“Certainly, monsieur.” The barman seemed pleased with the idea.

“Gosh, that’s certainly a drink,” said Leiter.

Bond laughed. “When I’m…er…concentrating,” he explained, “I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink’s my own invention. I’m going to patent it when I can think of a good name.”

—Ian Fleming, Casino Royale

James Bond could do many things exceptionally–and simultaneously–well. His ability to disarm a nuclear weapon while driving a stickshift Aston Martin down a narrow cliffside road at 100 mph while dodging machine gun fire from enemies in an approaching helicopter while simultaneously pleasuring a Bond girl in the passenger seat, all with nary a millimeter’s shift in the fold of his always crisp-white pocket square, has helped forge Bond’s image as the epitome of the fictionalized ideal man. If you’re an American male college grad looking to upgrade your game by learning the gentlemanly arts, chances are you’ve taken a few pointers from 007, be it his personal style, flair with the ladies, or cool temperament in sticky situations.

But of all the things Bond is emulated for, there’s one which leaves much to be desired: the way he took his cocktails. Sure, the man is to be commended for his willingness to consume high alcohol spirits while on a risky assignment. Hell, most people won’t even have a beer during lunch. And he’s also to be commended for being mindful about the types of drinks he enjoys depending on the occasion, time of day, etc. But his choice of cocktails, and particularly his preferred method of preparation, need not be emulated.

Take the ultra-dry, “shaken, not stirred” vodka Martini. Many serious cocktail drinkers (men and women) consider this a drink for pussies (in a previous post I mentioned how Bond’s preferred Martini has become the false standard bearer for Martini preparation). I mean, if you’re going to drink a Martini, then have a real one, with gin. When I’m behind the stick, not a night passes without at least one guy ordering an “ultra-dry, ice-cold vodka Martini, shaken,” in the most hyper-masculine voice he can muster. Unfortunately what he doesn’t realize–what they never realize–is that he’s basically asking for a flavorless, massively watered down beverage. I mean, do you really think your 10oz. steakhouse Martini glass is all liquor?

Now it’s been pointed out to me by my friend, style maven, cocktailian extroardinaire, blogger, and all around swell guy Fredo Ceraso of Loungerati that Bond’s drinking decisions were an elaborate part of his cover, and enabled him to blend in the scene while remaining alert enough to execute the mission. Most guys, however, are on a mission to get laid, and not commit espionage, so ordering Martinis a la Bond is just a foolish display of faux grown-upness, like the little girl who dresses in her mother’s oversized clothing and imagines herself as a grown woman in front of the mirror.

So you might be asking why I’m featuring one of Bond’s cocktails if I find them so disagreeable? The answer is that in the world of cocktails, minor adjustments can be the difference between the sublime and the second-rate, and that’s what I intend to show here.

007 eventually settled on the name Vesper for the cocktail he described, naming it after Bond girl Vesper Lynd. As it stands, it’s a recipe for a very dry and flat tasting drink. Sure you get flavor from gin, but the Lillet (which is not the same as the Kina Lillet asked for; Kina Lillet’s not been available for quite some time) is hardly noticeable. And then it’s shaken, which further waters down the drink and destroys the last thing the drink had going for it, it’s mouthfeel (texture).

Vesper
3 oz gin
1 oz vodka
1/2 oz Lillet Blonde (Kina Lillet’s no longer available; Cocchi Americano even better choice if you can get it)
lemon peel for garnish

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a cocktail coupe or Martini glass and twist lemon peel over and into drink.

Now let’s set upon improving this drink. You could certainly start by stirring it instead of shaking, but we would still need to go further. David Wondrich, of Esquire magazine, recommends flipping the gin and vodka proportions, so that it’s 3 oz vodka to 1 oz gin. At first glance this seems counter-intuitive since we’re trying to bump up the character of this drink, not make it more bland by increasing the proportion of the most tame ingredient, the vodka. But Wondrich reasons that the gin tramples the Lillet, so switching the gin and vodka proportions allows the Lillet some room on stage to play out its role. After having tried this version, I still think it could be elevated a touch more by adding a few dashes of orange bitters. The bitters add much needed depth as they play up the gin and Lillet and give some backbone to the vodka.

Improved Vesper
3 oz vodka (I recommend Purity, a Swedish vodka made from winter wheat and barley)
1 oz gin (I recommend Beefeater Winter if you can get it)
1/2 oz Lillet Blanc (Cocchi Americano would be an even better option if available)
4 dashes Bitter Truth Orange Bitters
lemon peel for garnish

Stir! Stir! Stir ingredients in a mixing glass filled with cracked ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail coupe or Martini glass and twist lemon peel over and into drink.

It helps to use a vodka with some character, which is why I chose Purity. Karlsson’s is also a good choice but it’s potato-based, and Bond was actually onto something when he mentioned that a grain-based vodka would be slightly better in this cocktail. I also really like the unique botanicals in the new Beefeater Winter gin offering (cinnamon, nutmeg, pine, in addition to traditional juniper), which stands up excellently in this cocktail despite the single ounce portion.

Mais n’enculons pas des mouches.

*Got a cocktail question? Hit me on twitter @paystyle, email me at payman(at)lifesacocktail(dot)com, or simply drop me a comment below.

This past Sunday I had rare the opportunity–via my cocktail consulting and event company, Life’s a Cocktail–to use the power of mixology to help the forces of good, serving up cocktails in the name of marriage equality as a vendor in the first ever Illegal Wedding Fair.  The event was held in an amazing West Village townhouse called 632 on Hudson (which notably housed MTV’s Real World 2001 cast), and featured a number of other wedding vendors willing to take a stand on this pressing issue. 

Umamimart’s own Erin Gleeson and Vanessa Bahmani also pitched in on the effort, both as co-organizers of the event and as vendors via their wedding photography company, E & V Weddings, where they set up their signature wedding photo booth featuring a vintage turn-of-the-century 8×10 camera.

The massive townhouse venue also has a basement ”speakeasy” space, which is where I was assigned to dish out my drinks.  Although the lack of air conditioning in the basement made it feel hotter than the Devil’s ass crack, which in turn wreaked havoc on my ice, I still managed to turn out a couple of crowd pleasers. 

I created two cocktails specially for the event.  I called one the Summer of Love (above right, pink), made with fresh strawberry-rhubarb puree, vodka, and seltzer.  The other I named the Gay Hemingway (above left, light golden color), which was a marriage equality-inspired variation on the Hemingway Daiquiri. It consists of vodka, fresh grapefruit juice, Lillet, apricot liqueur, and honey.  Initially my idea was to use a light rum in the Gay Hemingway, like the Hemingway Daiquiri itself, but Absolut was kind enough to sponsor with some bottles, so a switch was made at the last minute–and luckily, it worked fine.

Summer of Love
1 oz vodka
1  1/2 oz strawberry-rhubarb puree (recipe provided below)
1/2 barspoon fresh lemon juice (about 1/2 tsp)
seltzer to top

Combine the puree and vodka in an ice-filled cocktail shaker. Shake hard and strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. Top with seltzer and stir. Serve with a straw if you have one on hand.

Strawberry-rhubarb puree
1 1/2 cups fresh strawberries, stemmed
3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 cup boiling water
4 stalks rhubarb, sliced about 1/4-1/2 inch thick
1/4 tsp almond extract

Place strawberries, brown sugar, boiling water, and almond extract in a blender and puree until smooth and combined.  Pour into a square baking dish and add the rhubarb, stirring to assure even distribution.  Bake uncovered at 300˚ for about 40 minutes, stirring every 15-20 minutes to make sure the rhubarb cooks evenly.  Once the rhubarb has softened, remove from the oven and puree in a blender.  At this point you can allow the puree to cool and use as is (which is what I did) or strain it if you prefer a thinner consistency.

Gay Hemingway
2 oz vodka (can also be made with a light rum)
1 oz fresh grapefruit juice
3/4 oz Lillet Blanc
1/4 oz apricot liqueur (I used Rothman & Winters brand)
1/4 oz honey syrup (2 parts honey diluted in 1 part water)

Combine ingredients in an ice-filled shaker. Shake it like big Papa’s belly on a boat during a hurricane. Strain into an ice-filled rocks glass and enjoy. Then do as Hemingway would and have about 16 more.

Every now and then you’re fortunate enough to be a part of an event that matters beyond the dollars and cents, and this was one of those opportunities. And regardless of whether actual political change was made (it wasn’t), it was no less refreshing to see other like-minded businesses using their enterprise as a tool for progress.  Cheers!

*Got a cocktail question? Hit me on twitter @paystyle, email me at payman(at)lifesacocktail(dot)com, or simply drop me a comment below.

**Photo credits: Erin Gleeson Photography and E&V Wedding Photography

It’s Happy Hour once again, and classic Scotch cocktails are in effect as they have been over the past few weeks. Why have I been focusing so much on Scotch lately you ask? Well, firstly, because I enjoy the spirit a whole lot. Besides that, I realized reason alone could not dissuade the purists who oppose even the mere usage of “Scotch” and “cocktail” in the same sentence.

Instead, I understood that irrationality can only be countered with a brute, blunt, and mercilessly overwhelming force–the mixological version of the Bush Doctrine in a sense. Sometimes a little unilateralism is necessary in dealing with an unyielding obstacle, and therefore the only solution would be to hit the naysayers over the head with one classic Scotch cocktail after another until their faithlessness is drowned in an ocean of liquor. And the fact that the recipes I’ve been sharing are all nearly a century old (some possibly even older) dispels any notion that grown men don’t drink Scotch cocktails, since they were created and imbibed during an era when grown men were the predominant patrons of saloons and watering holes.

With the disclaimers out of the way, let’s get to this week’s drink, the “Hoots Mon.” What is a “Hoots Mon” and why is it the name of this cocktail you inquire? Well the former question can be answered with greater certainty than the latter. A brief bit of internet research (with assistance from my good friend Edgar Google–pronounced “googelay,” like Michale Buble) revealed “Hoots Mon” as a Scottish expression used to dismiss another’s opinion. It was also the title of a 1919 film starring Stan Laurel of the famed duo Laurel and Hardy, as well as the name of a song composed by the Scottish composer Harry Robertson.

That this Scottish phrase became attached to a cocktail recipe featuring Scotch is an easy one to figure out. Whether there’s any more to the story is anyone’s guess however. What I can say with great certainty though, is that despite its name, only a true fool would dismiss this drink.

“Hoots Mon” Cocktail
2 oz Scotch (I used Dalmore 15 yr single-malt)
1 oz Lillet (if you can somehow find it, use Cocchi Americano)
1 oz Italian vermouth (I used Vya sweet vermouth, but Carpano Antica is also exceptional here)
Lemon twist (optional)

Glass: coupe

Tools: Bar spoon, mixing glass, and strainer

Stir ingredients with ice and strain into your glass. Garnish with the lemon twist if you desire.

Because this is a very unfussy cocktail with just a few ingredients, I decided to use a single-malt like the Dalmore 15 yr, and it tasted great. If it’s not in your budget, a blended Scotch like Famous Grouse is a good standby.

For the vermouth, I recommend upgrading from Martini & Rossi if you can. This is a cocktail where specificity and quality pay dividends. Although Carpano Antica is unbeatable in this drink, this time around I used Vya, a relatively new brand out of California of all places. I had never tried it before, so I finally picked up a bottle and gave it a shot. It worked well, though differently than the Carpano. The Vya made its presence felt immediately, with a slight bitterness upfront and in the aftertaste.

Lastly, an important word regarding Lillet. Many old cocktail recipes call for Lillet, or Kina Lillet to be exact (the Vesper Martini is a well known example). Unfortunately, Kina Lillet is no longer available due to the company’s reformulation of the original recipe in 1986, after which it was rebranded as Lillet Blanc. I’ve never chanced the opportunity to taste the original Kina Lillet, but have been told it has a much more pronounced flavor of quinine, since it was essentially a Quinquina style of fortified wine. Consequently Lille Blanc is treated by many as a necessary evil, since it’s called for in many old recipes yet considered an inferior substitute for the previous version. The discovery of an adequate substitute for Kina Lillet has thus been long-considered a potential game changer.

Well consider the game changed, as Bay Area based bartender Erik Ellestad seems to have stumbled upon what other respected mixologists have verified as the adequate substitute for Kina Lillet, a specimen called Cocchi Americano. It doesn’t help much that Cocchi Americano is near-impossible to come by even here in New York City, but the collective fingers of the cocktail community remain crossed in hope of greater distributorship in the near future–at least we know a product exists somewhere, even if it’s unavailable to most of us.

To make a short story long, it’s worth seeking out the Cocchi Americano if it’s available to you, otherwise stick with Lillet Blanc in the meantime.

So remember, the next time someone spouts off nonsense about Scotch not being a cocktail-appropriate spirit, slap them in the back of the neck and tell’em “Hoots Mon!”

*Got a cocktail question? Hit me on twitter @paystyle, email me at payman(at)lifesacocktail(dot)com, or simply drop me a comment below!

Paystyle was born in Tehran and grew up in Los Angeles (aka Tehrangeles) before moving to Brooklyn with his wife and co-pilot Vanessa Bahmani who provides the stunning photography of Pay’s cocktail concoctions. Return every Wednesday for his weekly Happy Hour column.